Finding the Perfect Match
In reality, is there really such a thing as a “perfect” match? We don’t live in a perfect world, so it’s doubtful there is a perfect match for anyone, but if we can find out enough about a person before we date them, we have the ability to judge whether there is a possibility of at least meeting them halfway. The key is knowing how much of the qualities we expect a particular person possesses, and how many other things that we can tolerate. For example, if you are a non-drinker and prefer someone who doesn’t drink, can you compromise with someone who goes out once a week with friends and has a drink with dinner when you go out? If you are able to compromise on some of your expectations, you are more likely to find a match than if you insist on only meeting people who meet your high-standards of behavior.
One problem many people have when they look for a date or potential marriage partner is they are looking for someone like their mom or dad, even if that person was not the best parent in the world. It is not always a conscious decision; it just seems to happen, especially children who come from abusive families. It’s important to review the list you have made of qualities and expectations and make sure that you are not “pricing” yourself out of a match based on expectations that are too high. It’s very easy to see if you have done that by looking at the number of matches that are returned with a search based upon the number of potential candidates in general categories. For example, if there are 100 possible matches within a given radius of your home within your age specifications, and you only have one result as a match, it’s highly likely that your expectations are too high.
If you want to find someone for dating, you want to make your expectations realistic and be willing to compromise on some things. That doesn’t mean you should date someone who smokes if you have asthma or severe allergies, but be willing to compromise in other areas in order to find a match that may be compatible. The degree of compromise will depend upon the basis of the relationship. For example, if you’re only looking for friendship or casual dating, a person’s religion or lack of it should be of little concern. However, if you are looking for a potential partner, religion may play a bigger role, especially if it is a major difference such as one being Jewish, Catholic, Muslim, or Buddhist while the other is Christian of Protestant or Catholic faith. There are other areas where compromises may create an unhealthy match, but in most cases you want to leave your options open so that you are able to find a potential match among a great many possibilities. Of course, only compromise on minor things, but do be open to some negotiation within certain areas.
